Modest proposals

Blooming Proudly at the Center of the World

Japan has long been preparing a project to “restore Japanese diplomacy that blooms proudly at the center of the world.”¹ Today, the launch of that project was officially announced.

(Government official): “The project consists of two main stages. This time, we will embark on the first stage — the exploration of the world’s center.
After all, unless we know where the world’s center is, there is no way to bloom proudly there.”

Those selected for the World Center Expedition are ten distinguished Japanese citizens who have survived rigorous training. This afternoon, they boarded the research vessel Bashauma (“Workhorse”)² docked at Harumi Pier and set sail toward the world.

(Expedition leader): “After about a month at sea, we expect to reach the area most likely to be the world’s center and conduct various surveys.”

(Reporter): “What kind of place do you imagine the center of the world to be?”
(Leader): “We won’t know until we get there. But at the very least, we believe it’s nowhere near China, South Korea, or North Korea.”

After completing their investigation of the world’s center, the expedition plans to continue sailing in search of seeds of plants that may one day bloom there.


Footnotes

  1. Refers to Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi’s slogan, “to restore Japanese diplomacy that blooms proudly at the center of the world.” 
  2. The ship’s name, Bashauma (literally “workhorse”), refers to Takaichi’s famous line: “We will work, work, work like workhorses.” It has become shorthand for her intense work-ethic populism.